We got a new computer.

It will shape the next 20 years of your life.

Your sister will lock herself in her room and you will never speak to her again.

It's shaped like a cube.

You see a spark when you plug it in.

The spring-loaded power button on the monitor makes a satisfying click.

It beeps when you turn it on.

You will learn what a "trojan horse" is when you wake up at 4 AM to play an online game.

It will be your first exposure to internet pornography.

You will go on the internet when you're bored and have no one to talk to.

You will have internet friends.

You will make internet graphics for your internet website.

You will learn to type at the speed of normal human conversation.

By the time your peers have online devices, you will have developed a way of communicating via text that they will find strange.

You will find it strange that they do not respond right away to your messages.

You will adopt the same behaviour.

You will have your own personal computer in a couple of years.

You will lock yourself in your room.

Communicating via text will still feel alien to you.